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The bottom perspective by Anonymous For over nine months I let the people I worked with belittle me in every aspect of my personality. What for? A coveted job! I wanted that job more than anything, even myself. After visiting the doctor one day for a variety of complaints he advised me to go home and not return to my place of work. As a person falls into depression, they do not realize how far down they go, until it is time to climb out. Through therapy I was able to come to terms with what had happened, it got very ugly because I did file a workers compensation claim. But the sad part was that no matter how I tried I could not make myself better. After six months of struggling and not sleeping well for over a year, I came to the point of sheer sleep deprivation. The only problem with this term is that when one is in it they do not realize it. The day that I was at my worst, I had not slept well for over five days, I called my therapist and told him I felt like going to sleep forever. He was flip and suggested that if I really felt that way I should go to the hospital. Once there, I waited for over forty-five minutes in the waiting room, this was a psychiatric hospital, mind you. A top notch one, or so I was told. After an eternity, they finally talked to me. Yes, I was here because I was having suicidal thoughts. Yet after my insurance declined to cover me, they asked me for certain if I felt like hurting myself. In shock and hurting so bad, I couldn't hear myself speaking. The next thing I remember is being home and taking the sleeping pills to fall asleep. Thank god I had made a promise to my medical doctor if I ever needed him. I don't remember calling him, but he had the foresight to trace my call, because all they could hear was heavy breathing. I was saved and get to live another day. Top of page Webmaster: wulff@ratatosk.net |