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Pitfalls: What to avoid © San Francisco Suicide Prevention Do not shy away from the topic of suicide. Suicide is ugly. It reminds us of a whole world of things that we do not wish to think about. Because suicide arouses great fear and anxiety, we actively avoid the topic. Feelings of guilt and responsibility haunt us. Our emotions are intense and so we deny the reality of the suicidal person's concerns. The person in crisis is troubled and has problems that need to be discussed openly. If not taken seriously the suicidal crisis could worsen. By not asking obvious questions or avoiding the topic, it and may seem as if you are not interested. He will probably feel rejected, guilt ridden, and more deeply disturbed. Avoid moralizing It is ineffective to tell the person that it is wrong and against God's will to commit suicide, or to remind him of obligations to family and society. The suicidal person carries a heavy load of guilt and moral arguments only add to this burden. Do not be aggressive Suicidal people sometimes make us feel hopeless and impotent, to which we often respond by becoming belligerently helpful. We urge the potential suicide to live in order to justify ourselves. Emotional exhortations based upon our own needs are futile. Do not try too hard to reassure the person You may be tempted to rescue the potential suicide by telling him that he is a good guy and that life is worthwhile. Your efforts will only succeed in making the individual feel rejected, misunderstood, and dismissed. The suicidal person does not like himself nor does he feel life is meaningful. Telling him that he is a good guy and that there is hope is worse than useless. Top of page Webmaster: wulff@ratatosk.net |