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Bodies Under Siege mailing list © Deb Martinson This is the welcome file for the bodies-under-siege mailing list. To subscribe, send mail to majordomo@majordomo.pobox.com with the phrase subscribe bus as the mail body. To unsubscribe, send mail to that address using the phrase unsubscribe bus. Subscribers can post to the list by sending mail to bus@majordomo.pobox.com. What is BUS? The acronym bus stands for bodies under siege, which in turn is the title of one of the earliest books about self-injury to really take it seriously. The list itself was originally conceived as a safe place for people concerned with self-injury to speak the unspeakable. In a world where we're treated like freaks or outcasts as soon as anyone learns about our problem, bus stands as a place to find relief, support, and understanding. It's also evolved into a place for people to share tips about and work together toward recovery. Do I have to cut (burn, hit, pick at scabs, break bones, etc) myself to be on bus? No. Anyone with an interest in self-injury is welcome. In fact, friends and loved ones of those who injure themselves are particularly welcome, because the more people in a self-injurer's life who know and understand what's going on, the easier it is for that person to work toward recovery. What kinds of people are on a list like this? We range in age from 14 to 50+. We are professionals, engineers, teachers, parents, blue collar workers, nurses, counselors, unemployed, students. We are male and female; gay, straight, bi... we're diverse to the point of defying description. What are the rules? There are only a few rules on bus:
By its nature, bus tends to be slightly upsetting reading for some people. It's often a good idea to take a few moments to gather your thoughts before reading list mail. Do some relaxation exercises or deep breathing. If you read something that upsets you, get some space before you respond. Write your response and let it sit for a day, then reread it and edit out anything that sounds like a personal attack. Remind yourself that not everyone knows what will push your buttons, and that all of us on the list tend to be a bit hypersensitive to criticism. If you feel you have been personally attacked, please contact me privately to discuss the situation before you post about it to the list. Chances are that the person you think is attacking you is reacting to something *you* didn't realize would upset *them*. What is the digest form? "Digest" is kind of inaccurate, because you get exactly the same messages when you're subscribed to the digest as you do when you're on the regular list. The only difference is how you get them. If you are on the regular list, you get new messages as they are sent, one at a time. The digest saves up individual messages and sends out a bunch of them at once, all put into one big message. There are about 3-6 digests/day, and each has 12-18 messages in it. What is all this recovery stuff about? The philosophy of bus is that, for reasons of biology and upbringing in invalidating environments, some people have a hard time validating themselves. Instead, they've learned that self-injury makes them feel better. It's the ultimate self-invalidation, and it expresses rage, disgust, sorrow, pain... so many things to so many people. One of the goals of bus is to help and support people who feel ready to stop. To this end, information about techniques for stopping, techniques for "retraining" your brain to respond differently in crisis situations, and information about how to find help are often posted to the list. Does this mean that I don't belong if I'm not ready to stop? Not at all. We recognize that some people aren't yet ready to let go of self-injury as a coping mechanism, and we as a group are as supportive of them as we are of those who are trying to stop. bus is a place where you can say anything, express the pain you've kept bottled up for years, purge yourself -- it's just that one of its main foci is on recovery. But recovery shouldn't, and doesn't, come at the expense of those who are not quite ready to commit to stopping. And for some people, three days without self-harm is as hard as three months for others. bus is about encouragement and respecting limits. What is a spoiler and when should I use one? A spoiler is a warning in the subject line that the material posted is intense or graphic and might trigger some people -- that is, increase their desire to self-harm. Use your own judgment in deciding whether to use spoilers and whether to heed them. I ignore them because I am working toward living in the real world, and things there aren't spoilered for my convenience. If you're feeling fragile, though, you might want to skip spoilered items. Note that posts entirely concerning religion are usually spoilered; some people have religious issues. What are all those acronyms? Hey, man, they make us feel like a cabal. Of course, there is no cabal (grin). But seriously, people do tend to refer to things in shorthand. Here are a few of the most common terms: DID -- dissociative identity disorder. Used to be called MPD, for multiple personality disorder. People with DID refer to the facets of themselves that sometimes take over for a while as "alters". BPD -- borderline personality disorder, a very controversial diagnosis. See my web page or any of the various excellent pages on the topic for more details. SIB -- Self-injurious behavior. Bipolar -- bipolar depressive disorder, also known as manic depression. Major depression without mania is sometimes called "unipolar". DDNOS -- dissociative disorder not otherwise specified; a diagnosis for people who dissociate in stressful situations but not to the point where they experience themselves as other people. OCD -- obsessive-compulsive disorder; just what it sounds like. PTSD and CPTSD -- post-traumatic stress disorder and a new concept, Judith Herman's complex PTSD (resulting from prolonged trauma). Speaking of DID, can alters post? Sure, so long as they respect the rules and the personhood of others on the list. We have yet to have any problems caused by someone posting when an alter is in control. What is the proper term for hurting yourself? There isn't one. You'll find it called all sorts of things -- parasuicide, self-mutilation, self-abuse, self-destructive behavior... most people on bus call it self-injury or sib because those are less blaming terms. Who are you to be offering this? Good question. I have extensive training and experience as a crisis hotline counselor, as well as a B.S. in psychology. I also used to self-injure. Top of page Webmaster: wulff@ratatosk.net |